


Through the Cracks

by katlynwtf



Category: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 21:50:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11022276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katlynwtf/pseuds/katlynwtf
Summary: Kakashi had never wanted friends - after all, why should he let himself care for something that death could touch - but Tenzo had a way of worming through the cracks in his armor, always finding a way to move closer no matter how many times Kakashi pushed him away.





	Through the Cracks

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts: "I'm too sober for this" and "Stop pretending you're okay 'cause I know you're not."  
> for anon.

_I'm too sober for this_ , Kakashi thought with a heavy sigh, tipping his head closer to his glass and trying to ignore the man he could hear somewhere off to his left, complaining loudly to his companions about Kakashi. It was the usual drivel, how Kakashi didn't deserve to wear the Leaf hitai-ate and call himself shinobi, who could trust someone who killed a comrade. The man grew louder with every word, until all other conversation in the bar ceased, every ear turned to this drunk man's yelling, every eye on Kakashi.

He tried not to let it bother him, he really did. What could a civilian possibly know about what had happened, how could he even begin to understand the circumstances or the agony Kakashi still felt over what he had done? He couldn't. So Kakashi tried very, very hard not to let it bother him.

That is, until the man said Rin's name.

When Kakashi had walked into this bar tonight, he definitely had not intended to get into a bar fight, and in retrospect, nursing a cut over his black eye, what felt like at least two cracked ribs, and what was most likely a nasty concussion, it had been a terrible idea. The man currently walking around sporting Kakashi's blood on his knuckles and probably bragging about beating down the "legendary" Hatake Kakashi was easily twice his size, a burly man where Kakashi was lanky - probably the only advantage Kakashi had was that he was a shinobi, though he wasn't about to use ninjutsu for something as petty as a bar fight.

Perhaps he should have, though. The last thing that he could recall with perfect clarity was smashing the other man's mug of beer against the side of his head. The next thing he knew, he was slumped in the alley behind the bar, his head spinning and ears ringing, the tang of copper and iron thick in his mouth... and Tenzo, leaning over him, worry evident even as his face swam in and out of focus. It had taken Kakashi a moment to recognize his kohai without his Anbu uniform, the Jonin blues baggy and unfamiliar on his muscular frame.

"Yo, Tenzo," he mumbled, tipping his head back against the brick wall behind him, forcing a smile that he was entirely sure his kohai saw right through. "How's it going?"

"What the hell happened to you?" Tenzo demanded, ignoring Kakashi's question as he knelt in front of him, brushing bloodied hair back from his forehead to examine the cut above his eyebrow. "You look like crap."

"It's nothing." It wasn't a complete lie, the bit of alcohol he had managed to consume before flipping his lid in public had him feeling fuzzy around the edges, the pain not as bad as it would have been without it. "M'fine."

"You're not," Tenzo admonished, grabbing Kakashi's hand and hauling him to his feet. The younger man's hand was warm around his, the sudden and unexpected contact sending shivers racing down his spine. He almost protested when Tenzo removed that contact. Almost. "Can you walk?"

"I think..." Kakashi took a shaky step, stumbling against Tenzo. He gripped at the younger man as he tried to right himself, freezing when he looked up and saw how close he was. If Tenzo was bothered by it, he didn't let it show. Looking down again, Kakashi sighed, releasing his hold on Tenzo's vest. "Guess not."

"Come on then," Tenzo said, turning and pulling Kakashi's arm over his shoulder, wrapping his own arm around Kakashi's waist to stabilize him. This was even more unexpected than Tenzo's hand, and Kakashi tensed, breath catching in his throat. "I've got you, senpai."

"Thanks," Kakashi mumbled, hyperaware of the warmth of Tenzo's body pressed to his side, his arm around his back and hand resting on his side. It was hard to focus on anything but that feeling as Tenzo helped him through the dark streets of Konoha, and he found himself leaning into it without really thinking about it. It had been a long time since he'd let himself feel the warmth of another human being. Sometimes when he was having a particularly bad night, he'd summon Pakkun and the little dog would curl up on his chest, but a dog wasn't the same as the warmth of a person.

It was comforting, he realized, glancing at Tenzo out of the corner of his eye. He wondered if the younger man was aware of how he'd automatically positioned himself on Kakashi's right side, where Kakashi could see him, or if the decision had been unconscious. Either way, watching the dim orange light of the streetlights wash over his kohai's face for a moment before fading, only to be illuminated again a second later, he was glad for it.

Tenzo was someone that had always puzzled Kakashi, and it wasn't just because of his Mokuton. No, it had always been more than that. Despite all the trauma Tenzo had endured in his life, he was still, at his core, a kind soul, and Kakashi couldn't wrap his head around it. By all rights, Tenzo should be a mess, either pissed at the world or wallowing in the deepest depths of depression, but he still walked through life happily with an easy, warm smile.

Kakashi had asked him about it once over instant ramen and a nice bottle of sake.

"Life is cruel, we know that better than most," Tenzo had answered, avoiding Kakashi's gaze but still smiling. "I'd be lying if I said that I don't still have nightmares about it, that I don't hate the end result sometimes. Most of the time, really." He had paused then, finally meeting Kakashi's eyes. "I spent a long time wishing that I had died, too. Until I met you, senpai." That had knocked the air from his lungs and left his mouth curiously dry. "You taught me that I'm not just a weapon, that my Mokuton is a gift that can create beauty and life out of thin air. Why should I be angry or depressed about that?"

Kakashi hadn't known what to say, so he just took another drink of sake and tried to push the image of Tenzo's smile out of his mind.

Orange light splashed over his kohai's face again, and Kakashi couldn't help the way his eyes wandered, taking in the younger man's features before they were cast in shadow once more. He was young, only nineteen, but his tight-lipped frown and the worry that furrowed his brow made him look so much older, and for a brief moment, Kakashi was struck by the fact that Tenzo wore that expression for him.

Tenzo was worried about him, and all he could think about was how his brash actions had stolen the younger man's smile.

He wondered why that was.

Kakashi had never wanted friends - after all, why should he let himself care for something that death could touch - but Tenzo had a way of worming through the cracks in his armor, always finding a way to move closer no matter how many times Kakashi pushed him away. Tenzo didn't seem to understand why Kakashi kept pushing him away, either, but Kakashi did - he couldn't lose something he didn't care about.

But he did care, he realized with startling clarity as Tenzo's arm tightened around his waist, holding him steady while he formed a wooden key with one finger, fitting it into the lock of Kakashi's apartment and pushing open the door. He cared so much it hurt.

"Where are your medical supplies?" Tenzo asked that question three times before Kakashi realized his kohai was speaking to him, and he shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

"Cabinet under the bathroom sink," he answered, sinking onto the couch while Tenzo went to get the supplies. He settled back on the cushions and tugged down his mask while he waited, taking a deep breath and wincing as pain shot through his chest. He definitely had some cracked ribs - the man at the bar had done a number on him.

"I've only had the basic Anbu medical training, senpai," Tenzo's voice rang through the apartment, followed by the sharp sound of wood against wood as the cabinet door closed, and a moment later he walked back out, carrying Kakashi's medical supplies. He paused when he saw that Kakashi's mask was down, but only for a second before moving to sit on the couch beside Kakashi, again orienting himself on Kakashi's right side. Kakashi didn't resist as his kohai pulled his hitai-ate off to give him better access to the wound. "I won't be able to heal anything, but I'll patch you up as best I can."

"It's fine." Kakashi studied Tenzo as the younger man set to work cleaning the cut above Kakashi's eye, wincing at the sting of the antiseptic. His hands were rough and calloused, but surprisingly gentle as he pushed Kakashi's hair up out of the way, reaching down to pick up a tube of medicated ointment. He deftly twisted the top off with one hand, adjusting his hold to squeeze a little out onto one finger and sweeping it over the cut. Tenzo worked silently, but Kakashi could tell he wanted to say something by the way he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Tenzo replied tersely, picking up a bandage and a roll of tape. He hesitated, then moved his hand from Kakashi's forehead to grasp his wrist, raising it to where his own hand had just been. "Hold your hair out of the way." Kakashi did as he was told, wincing again as Tenzo pressed the bandage into his forehead just a little too hard, tearing off a strip of tape with his teeth.

"You're angry," Kakashi said, not missing the way his kohai ground his teeth at the comment. "Why?"

"Because you're reckless, senpai," Tenzo snapped, pressing the last strip of tape into place and leaning back, avoiding Kakashi's stare as he got to his feet and cleaned up the medical supplies. "Reckless and stupid."

"It was a bar fight, I've had worse," Kakashi sighed, closing his eyes and tipping his head against the back of the couch. "I'm-"

"Do not say that you're fine," Tenzo growled, and Kakashi's eyes snapped open when he heard the supplies clatter onto the coffee table, gaze drawn up to meet Tenzo's narrowed eyes. "You need to stop, senpai. Stop pretending that you're okay, 'cause I know you're not."

"Really," Kakashi mused, feeling a slight twinge low in his gut. Arousal. Interesting. He had seen Tenzo angry before, but it had been a long time since those angry eyes and sharp tongue had been directed at him. "How would you know? This is the first time we've seen each other in weeks."

"You really thought I wouldn't keep an eye on you?" Tenzo's glare lessened slightly, and he sighed, sinking back onto the couch. "Kami, Kakashi..."

It was the first time Kakashi had ever heard Tenzo say his name, and it knocked the wind out of him.

"Why do you care so much?" Kakashi hadn't meant for the question to be as petulant as it sounded, but he was hardly focusing on the words coming out of his mouth. He was trying - and failing - to wrap his head around the warmth of Tenzo's knee as it brushed against his, the slight flutter he felt in his chest at the contact. Tenzo had touched him before, a hand on the shoulder, a supportive arm, but this felt different, more intimate, and he wondered if Tenzo felt it, too.

"Does it matter why?" Tenzo answered after a long, tense moment, glancing away, but not before Kakashi caught a look of sadness in those brown eyes. "I just do."

Maybe it was the fog of alcohol still heavy on his mind, or maybe it was something else, but before Kakashi could stop to consider the consequences, that doing this might irreparably damage his friendship with Tenzo - or worse, that it wouldn't - he shifted closer, the entire length of his thigh pressing to Tenzo's, reaching up to touch Tenzo's cheek and guiding him into a soft kiss.

It was quick, barely the length of a heartbeat, but it still left Kakashi breathless.

"S-Senpai?" Tenzo stammered as Kakashi drew back, opening his eyes to look at Tenzo, who was staring at him in confusion. "What was that for?"

Kakashi wanted to kick himself. Of course he had read the situation wrong. It was probably for the better though - Tenzo was too good, too kind, and it had been selfish of Kakashi to even consider tainting him with his darkness.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, moving away to put as much distance between them as the couch would allow, dropping his gaze to the floor. "I didn't mean... I think you should go."

Kakashi didn't know why it hurt so much when the couch shifted and Tenzo stood. Unable to watch him walk away, he closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable open and close of the door... but it never came.

Instead, he felt warm hands on his knees and soft, chapped lips against his, tentative and slow. By the time he registered what was happening, it was over, and he opened his eyes to find Tenzo kneeling in front of him. For the first time tonight, he was smiling.

"Do you still want me to leave, senpai?" he asked quietly. Unable to speak, unsure if he was even still breathing, Kakashi shook his head. Tenzo's smile widened, and he got to his feet. "All right. You need to rest, so why don't you get ready for bed while I clean this up?" Bed. The thought brought images unbidden to Kakashi's mind, images of Tenzo beneath him, writhing as Kakashi fucked him until he was breathless from screaming his name... It took every last shred of his self-control to push those thoughts to the back of his mind while he got ready for bed, filing them away for a later date.

In the span of a single night, Tenzo had turned everything Kakashi ever knew upside down, and a part of him wondered if this was just some alcohol-fueled dream, if he wasn't just passed out in the alley behind the bar. But he could smell Tenzo as the younger man fell into bed behind him, the scent of warm sunlight and damp forest floor, undercut by a subtle hint of citrus and fresh saplings. It was a welcoming smell, one that made him think of happiness and home. Kakashi couldn't help but turn into it, burying his nose in the curve of Tenzo's neck and breathing him in.

When sleep finally took him, it was to the warmth of Tenzo's body wrapped around him and for the first time in a long time, he felt at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Mehh have some Kakayama angst. Wasn't sure if I should rate it T or M since I mentioned Kakashi thinking about fucking Tenzo so I decided to be safe and rated it M. Hope you like!


End file.
